Blah. I don't know. I do know that I haven't eaten today and that bottle of water isn't very satisfying. Everyday I skip breakfast, I skip lunch, I eat dinner and I go to bed. I wake up, go throughout my day hungry. And distressed. And confused. I'm in a relationship with a guy I like, but am still talking to a guy that broke me in more ways than I thought a person could break. He makes me smile with tears running down my face. On top of that, my grandmother died recently and I hum this lullaby that she used to sing to me all day long and cry in Algebra. I can't talk about it, but I break down in the shower. I blubber and my body heaves and the tears can't come out fast enough. Talk about it? Nope. Not now, probably not ever. I generally bottle things up. This is kind of a paraphrased thing of events that have happened. I think it's more for me to review than anything. I'm just so angry. So incredibly pissed that it's amazing I can function. I scream and shout at everyone, I tell them what pathetic incompetent idiots they really are, and I insult and bitch and whine and moan. Where does that even get me? I hate myself in more ways right now. I hurt myself. I feel pain all the time and I wonder how much of it I feel because I inflict it. I don't have to constantly go over memories in my head and thing of what could be and what is and what if. But I do. Every morning of every day. And I don't have to starve myself all the time. I KNOW I'm hungry in the mornings. I have time. I do. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so...depressing.
I can't believe I put all of that together...I could have put them into little neat paragraphs and sections and went into detail, but instead I went from subject to subject. What a mess.
All well, I guess I might as well post this and hope someone comes along and understands some of it.



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Watch your thoughts, they become words. Your words=actions, your actions=habit. Your habits=character. Character-Destiny. While you're at it, watch me! [link]
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I will never forget you lied and said you loved me.
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Hello Everyone this is my Signature....Current getting better at drawing. On a scale from 1 to 10. I am a 4
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Hello Everyone this is my Signature....Current getting better at drawing. On a scale from 1 to 10. I am a 4
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